If Task wasn’t such a complicated golem, he may have followed his masters orders to the letter, or at all. Luckily for Inquisitor Makhell and his team of witchunters, the stone brute merely shrugged whilst they dragged his master away – his master and the author of Task’s story (out next week!), Ben Galley:
1. If I gave you an elk, where would you hide it?
“I find the trick to hiding things is not to hide them in the last place a person would look, because that way they’d eventually find it. It can’t be the last if it doesn’t ever happen. So I’d hide it where they’d never look: inside themselves. People don’t like to look there. It’d have to be a metaphysical elk, if you have any of those. If not, there’s always blending the elk into a paste and hiding it in food. Let me know and we’ll go from there.”
2. Why would you be hiding it? Weird.
“But you asked me to. Maybe not with words, but the subtext was there.”
3. Tell us something about your work in progress?
“Now that The Heart of Stone is due for release very soon, I’ve just reached the halfway point on my next book – Chasing Graves. I’ve got high hopes for this one, mainly because of the concept. I can’t find anything similar so far, so fingers crossed it’s somewhat original!
It’s another standalone, or possible novella series, set in a medieval world with an Egyptian-style culture, where ghosts are part of everyday life. For the first time I’m also mixing my usual third person with a first person narrative for the main character, a doorsmith named Caltro Basalt.”
4. If you were a tree, what tree would you be and why?
“Willow, because I’d get to stand by a stream or a lake.”
5. Were you an avid reader as a kid?
“Absolutely. I devoured Tolkien, CS Lewis, and Brian Jacques’ Redwall series. Those books still take up two shelves in my bookcase. I also read a lot of mythology and fairytales like Brothers Grimm, or old classics like The Secret Garden and The Coral Island, so I could always be found with a book within in a five-foot radius of me.”
6. Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?
“Hunter. I’m getting back into archery and it’s not much fun shooting at roots and tubers.”
7. You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What colour would you be and why?
“Pestiferous Pitch. I’d look exactly the same as the standard black, but when you use me, I draw a different colour every time.”
8. What was the last gift you gave someone?
“850 grams of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Caramel.”
9. What were you like in high school – nerdy, sporty, etc…?
“Science and English geek that was always getting in trouble for distracting others, and only a forward in the rugby team because I was tall.”
10. What’s the last thing you watched on TV and why did you choose to watch it?
“Black Sails, because Black Sails. I’ve got two more seasons to obliterate.”
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?
“Firstly, a grown up. I swear I’m still a child in a man-suit. I’m 30 this year and that has an ominous ring to it, like somebody calling you in from the playground. Secondly, I’d like to be known for writing some of the best fantasy books around. I’m still working on both. Let’s see what happens by 30.”
12. Describe the colour green to somebody who is blind.
“The waxy feel of trees, or the freshness of limes and grass.”
13. Who would win a fight between Frodo and Sam?
“I imagining Sam has finally had enough of carrying Mr Baggins’ arse all across Middle Earth, and I can see him being able to unleash all that pent up rage, so him. I’d reckon he could beat Frodo to death with a lambas loaf before the weakened child-wear mannequin that is Frodo the ring-bearer could even groan.”
14. A white rabbit hops through the door right now wearing a helmet. What does he say and why is he here?
“Rabbit Construction Worker: “Are you Ben Galley?”
Me: “That’s correct.”
RCW removes hat, hi-vis jacket, and rabbit costume: “You’ve been served.”
15. What’s your favourite game, be it video, board or tabletop?
“Got to be Fallout 4.”
16. The last book you read was…?
“The Guns of Ivrea, by Clifford Beal. Highly recommend it for anyone who likes a rich yet effortless world, fantastic creatures and of course, pirates.”
17. Supercar, Superbike or Superboat, and why?
“Supercar, because I’ve loved cars since I first saw Formula 1 on TV. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for a McLaren P1.”
18. Where is your preferred writing space?
“My so-called “Writing Cave”, which is a small office with a large desk tucked in a corner with a heater next to me. I’ve got three screens spread across it and an office chair that looks like a seat from a racing car (so I can type faster). Other than that, the pub.”
19. When’s your next book out?
“I’m pleased to say my new grim standalone – The Heart of Stone – is out on the 30th of March this year, and is currently up for pre-order in paperback and eBook in all the usual places.”
20. Do you have a question for me?
“Did you want me to hide the elk, or are you going to do it?”
JP: “Shut it, you deffer! I ain’t seen no bloody elk and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Psst, it’s in the loft. Don’t ask how I got it up there.”
That’s the mind behind my last read – I was lucky enough to receive an Advanced Reading Copy of The Heart of Stone, which I gave an honest and well deserved 5*. Highly recommended by me, Inquisitor Makhell and his witchunters, all of whom read it whilst Ben Galley was stretched taller still. Go point and laugh at him on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads and on his website. Oh, and even if golems aren’t your thing – you’re weird – you can check out (buy) the rest of his books here.
Th th th th th that’s all, folks!